The Other Way : Twelve

A Secret For A Secret

-

“Ok lady, what the fuck is up? Last night was weird as shit and Edward won’t talk to me at all, which is even weirder.”

Alice cornered me in the lagoon when I was topless and, as usual, feeling too heavy to float. As it were, I was lying in a mere six inches of ocean, sand grating my shoulder blades and my butt, lofted only enough to qualify floating without actually accomplishing it. I was sporting another one of those drunken buzzes I was getting off the salt water these days, the one that I never really got over before it hit me again, and I squinted up at Alice, the sun making her impossible to see clearly. An angel or an omen in equal parts.

We spent the morning exploring with Esme, beach hopping along the inner ring of the crescent and inspecting every villa along the way. Seven of them passed our inspection, three did not, and Esme was determined to overhaul all of them herself.

I understood just what Jasper had been hinting at last night when we finally found it, and he knew me so well . . . Just a stones’ throw away from Esme’s private cove was a shallow lagoon that would be prime real estate for a mermaid. Enclosed from the ocean with crystal blue water and rocks speckled in pastel starfish. A few palm trees hung their heavy heads over the water and the wind wasn’t nearly as strong from behind the piles of rock cocooning the alcove. A halo of that pearly white sand hugged the water and the afternoon sun found Esme curled into a cradle of it, snoring softly.

The ocean was double-dosed here, my head full of flowers and I was spinning like a drunkard.

I never ever wanted to leave.

Alice plopped down into the water next to me, digging her palms into the sand and staring at me intently. Her hair was wild from the salt water, cheeks pink from the sun and she was wearing that damn purple bikini again. “Something is up. And I’m pretty sure it involves you.”

I floundered to a sitting position, hair heavy on my back and fumbled to cover my tits. Alice watched me intently before rolling her eyes and pulling off her own top, tossing it away with a heavy flop into the water. “Better?”

There were barbells through her nipples. Big ones, and a white dove surrounded by roses between her breasts. Dandelions sprouted at her elbow and grew up her arm, casting errant puffs of seeds across her shoulder that scattered in a random constellation. They vaulted up her neck, one or two tucked behind her ear and small one hidden in her hair line just shy of the diamonds by her eyes. Esme snored a little from the beach, reminding me that I had nothing to buffer myself with because Alice was waiting for me with arched eyebrows and an expectant look on her face.

Fuck.

“I’ll trade you,” I stuttered. “A secret for a secret.”

“One of my secrets?” She put a finger to her chest, her nipples hovering just above the water.

“Yes, except I already sort of know it, and . . . I feel like I owe you one in return.”

Alice eyed me skeptically. “What secret are we talking about?”

“The baby. In the field,” I choked.

Right on cue, her face fell. “How do you know about that?”

“Edward. Emmett sort of goaded him into telling us, he seemed really distraught about it.”

Alice didn’t respond for a moment, nothing but the water lapping up against my skin for what felt like forever, but she didn’t seem concerned with Edward when she finally spoke. She was staring at me intently, as though she was working on a complex math problem.

“You haven’t said anything to me about it. How long have you known?”

“A couple of days,” I shrugged, staring at my toes through the water. “I wouldn’t want people randomly asking me about it, if I were you.”

Alice pressed her lips together and stared at me with wide eyes.

“Is that what your Kissi Penny is for? The thousand dollar one?” I couldn’t help but ask, even though I already suspected. The longest of the metal rods in the cache hanging from her purse that looked like a key. A rare chunk of ancient, useless money that must hold a really heavy soul. She hid it well, but her bottom lip gave her away. Wavering and unsteady.

“I think I made it worse. I gave her too much-” She caught her trembling lip between her teeth and faltered to a stop.

Cue the sobering moment of sight.

The Devil’s Claw, a medicine best in small doses. The horned seed pod trembling between Edward’s fingers. The baby who died from lord knows what. His refusal to return to Africa and all the terrible possibilities that night could have meant for the girl sitting beside me, topless in a mermaid lagoon. Suddenly Edward’s overboard reaction at the dinner table made so much more sense.

“Oh, Alice,” I sighed.

“Don’t,” Alice cut me off. “It’s better if I don’t think about it. Thank you for not saying anything. It makes me like you a lot more.”

“You didn’t like me?” I teased feebly, nudging her a little until she finally cracked a smile as she shook her head.

“Not really, considering that Edward came back from some charity dinner and wouldn’t shut the fuck up about you. I think he’s half delusional. He’s been ranting about you for weeks now like a crazy conspiracy theorist. It’s starting to get old.”

I thought about Edward’s knuckles, open eyes, and hoped he wasn’t a psychic. “I think he’s on to us.”

“Us?”

“Jasper and I.”

“Is this the secret? Yours?”

“Yes,” I nodded slowly, resting my chin on my knees and really hoping that my silent possession of her secret would remind her to do the same with my own. I liked her, this girl who was so far out of my normal sphere, and she was making it really hard to ignore that nagging need to just tell someone that had been getting worse and worse by the day.

“Aha! I knew there was something different about you two!” Alice sounded pleased with herself and leaned in close, whispering like the crazed conspiracy theorist she’d just accused Edward of being. “You’re in the witness protection program, aren’t you?”

“Seriously?” I laughed and shook my head at her. “That’s where you went with all of this?”

“You’re not?” She sat back and studied me like a toddler eyeing its first tricycle, a wrinkle between her eyebrows. “Are you a secret service agent?”

“No,” I chuckled, teasing her. “But if I was, I wouldn’t be able to tell you.”

“Are you trying to get away from someone?” She sounded worried, probably imagining the very worst probabilities in the life of a girl.

“It’s not about me,” I reassured.

“He’s in the mob.” Alice moved from fear to certainty and sounded as though she was telling me this. I shook my head and her mouth fell open.

“He needed a green card?” she tried again.

“He’s gay,” I corrected.

The moment the two words plopped out of my mouth and landed in the water between us, my head reeled again, deceivingly light for all its apparent attachment to my body. It felt so strange, saying it out loud like that. I’d never spoken those two words together before, even though I inwardly had to repeat them to myself on a daily basis. It had sort of become my mantra, deceivingly simple for something that weighed so heavily on the grand scheme of our life.

“Ahhhhh,” Alice sighed, turning away to stare off across the water.

“What do you mean by ahhhhh?” I mimed, heart fluttering as I watched her chew over my revelation. I had no way to explain why I felt so soft and boneless all of a sudden. It must be the water. She stared off for a long time before she spoke.

“It just explains a lot. Edward is convinced that you don’t sleep together.”

“We don’t.”

I sounded like I was pouting.

“Are either of you sleeping with anyone?” Alice gaped openly at me, her mouth in a perfect ‘o’ of amazement. I shrugged in deference, waving my hands slowly through the water.

“I don’t know about him, but I’m not.”

“How long has it been this way?”

I scrunched my face up at her, not entirely willing to admit it. “A long time.”

“My god, Bella. That’s so unfair.”

Was it unfair? I didn’t particularly feel like I was missing anything, or giving something up. It wasn’t a question of having lost the urge, or misplaced the desire. Sure, I spent most of my time lusting after the man I was married to but didn’t sleep with, forming close personal bonds with my electronic friends, but I wasn’t unhappy. He treated me so well, I’d almost forgotten about it.

“I would really like to kiss you.”

When I looked up, Alice’s eyes were burning, focused on my mouth and I gulped, sure that she could see it, wondering how long I had been lost in thought.

“You kiss girls?” I stuttered.

“Well, I don’t make it a habit.” She smiled softly at me. “But I’d really like to kiss you right now.”

“Why?” I had no idea what was going on, only acutely aware that she was leaning in toward me, metal-speared nipples dipping into the water, covered in pretty pictures and staring hard at my bottom lip with her own between her teeth. The sparrows trapped in her ears were shining and her makeup had gone smudged around her eyes. She let her lip go, glistening in the sunlight.

“Because you’re really pretty,” she teased. “And I feel like you deserve it.”

“I’m married,” I whispered.

Alice’s mouth scrunched up to the side. “Sort of.”

“Alice, I can’t. I-”

“Would it change anything if I told you that Edward saw Jasper kissing someone yesterday morning?” She interrupted me, looking as though she didn’t really want to be telling me this at all.

My mouth fell open, pride a little wounded if I was perfectly honest. “Here?”

Alice nodded.

“Who?”

“Jacob.” She bit her lip for a minute, her eyes drifting from my eyes back to my mouth. “I mean, I guess it makes a lot more sense now, but . . . is there some sort of agreement between you? A set of rules?”

I shook my head. I had no answer for her, feeling shriveled up like a slug on salt. Jacob, with his pretty blush and his jet black hair. Bottomless eyes and soft walk. I felt silly that I hadn’t seen it before, he was just Jasper’s type, It wasn’t me he’d been sporting a crush on all this time. I felt strangely rejected even though I really had no right to be. Our only agreement was to be honest with one another.

Which wasn’t happening. Obviously.   

“Ok,” I swallowed the word and hoped I sounded sure of myself. “Kiss me.”

Alice leaned in, stopping for a moment just a breath away to judge my reaction before pressing her lips to mine. I didn’t know what to expect, but certainly not the electric jolt that scorched through me, suddenly boiling hot in the cool ocean water. The breeze was roaring by my ears, pummeling my skin and pulling at my hair as though a tornado had sprung up right over the top of us. I froze upon impact and reacted before I’d even realized what was going on, pressing myself up against her with a sound in my mouth that came out like a groan. Her lips cupped mine, soothing and firm, tasting like mint and strawberries. She put her hand to my neck, dipped her tongue between my lips, and pulled patiently away.

“Wow,” I blurted out, clapping a hand over my mouth to keep any other brilliant observations inside until I’d formulated a more proper response, my skin still tingling and my heart galloping like a loose pony. “I mean . . . thanks. I think I needed that.”

“I know,” Alice beamed at me, looking proud of herself. “Edward’s going to be really happy about this.”

“What on earth does he have to do with it?” I put my hand over my heart in case it decided to break free from my rib cage.

“Because if you’ll kiss me, then you’ll definitely kiss him. And he wants that worse than I’ve seen him want anything before.”

I huffed under my breath. “Yeah, well, he’s the dog and I’m-”

“The bell? Yeah, he told me about that.” Alice rolled her eyes. “Insider knowledge here . . .  using big words around Edward is like shots at an alcoholic. Pavlovian?” She shook her head, pursing her lips. “Honey, you sealed your own fate with that one.”

“I’m going to tell him to get a tattoo to remind himself of it,” I giggled, kind of excited for the moment and what his face would look like when I suggested it. Maybe I’d get more of that hollow cheek thing, which only ever happened when he smoked or when he was trying not to smirk at me.

Alice quirked an eyebrow at me, a secretive smile in place. “He already has a bell.”

“He does?” Weird.

“Yep.” Alice stared at me for a moment with her mouth slowly twisting into a smile. The blue and green diamonds sparkled up against the wicked gleam in her eyes. “It’s right next to another part of him that he’d really like you to be better friends with.”

NEXT