Like That, Only Harder
I hopped off the counter as I listened to Edward let Jasper inside, careful to land on my good foot, and leapt for the bathrobe that was hanging on the back of the door. I pulled it around myself and glanced up to find the boys standing in the hallway; Jasper, with his hands in his pockets and a tempered grin on his face, Edward in nothing but his underwear and a raging hard on, wild hair and lip rings.
Both of them staring at me.
“Well, hey there, beautiful. Haven’t seen you in a while. Thought I’d check in.” Jasper smirked, licking his lips and I stalked out of the bathroom the best I could on a broken foot. He immediately scowled at my limp and his eyes darted to my face. “What happened to your foot?”
“I fucked it up. Surprised?” I huffed, teetering to a standstill beside them, trying to ignore half-naked Edward and the slow drip that was steadily running down my thigh. Jasper put a steady hand under my elbow and I slumped up against him, not entirely sure why I felt like crying, my face breaking out in a prickly wave of trembly emotion before I could stop it.
What was wrong with me?
“We need to talk.” Edward looked squarely at Jasper, stone faced but I could see him prodding that bell on the inside of his mouth, the lip rings moving slightly. Jasper eyed me thoughtfully and nodded, ushering me to the couch and settling beside me. Edward sat in a low white chair across from us, splotches of ink and flashes of metal against the pale fabric.
He wasted no fucking time.
“She’s in love with you.”
I gaped at Edward. He did not just do that. A quick glance at Jasper, also gaping, confirmed that he had just done that and I broke out in a fresh wave of skin-prickling sweat. Not sure if I wanted to kill him or just beat him senseless.
“Did she tell you that?” Jasper asked lowly.
“No. She doesn’t need to,” Edward scoffed. “You can see it written all over her.”
I actually thought it was his paisley tattoo that my skin was adorned with, but I was beginning to understand that I was the only one who could see that. I was certainly the only one who could feel it, and god, it was burning. Dynamite lines of fire that traced the errant pathways of my veins. Both of them were looking at me and I stared at my lap, wringing my fingers and wondering if this is what Alice felt like when I tried to stand up for her against Edward’s better judgement.
“I want you to get her off. You owe her that, at least.” Edward continued, obviously on a roll.
“And how, exactly, did you come to that conclusion?” Jasper retorted.
“You’ve been stringing her along for years,” Edward hissed back.
“I have not,” Jasper spat fiercely, on his feet in an instant, pacing with freshly lit agitation. “I’ve been waiting for her.”
“For me?” I blurted, pulled from my enthralled witness of their standoff. I struggled to my own feet as Jasper turned toward me with a look of near desperation on his face.
“For you to find someone. I didn’t want to feel like I was abandoning you. I didn’t want you to feel like that.”
“For how long?” I gasped, wondering if we’d only made it this far because of me and my inability to want something other than what I had. Jasper tucked his mouth to the side wistfully and shook his head at me.
“As long as it took.”
“You can’t be telling me that there was never anyone you felt strongly about.” That was a lie and I knew it. Too many flavors of cologne for the single bottle in his bathroom.
“Never anyone that I allowed myself to,” Jasper shook his head, eyeing me warily.
“But there have been times it could have been something? If I wasn’t involved?”
“Yes,” he nodded tightly.
“Alec?” I asked, referring to the boy with the dark hair and the nearly black eyes who talked with his mouth perched to the side and his hands fluttering around his face. I was certain something was going on between them but he’d disappeared just as quickly as he’d shown up and I’d thought at the time that he’d moved away. Now, I wasn’t so sure.
“Possibly,” Jasper shrugged, “but I’ve told you before, you will always be my first pick, no matter who is hanging from the other end of the rope.”
“But why?” I stammered.
“Because you picked me. You’ve allowed me to be this person for you, for five years, and I can only hope that I’ve managed to give you the same in return. Have I?”
“That, and more,” I exhaled. His devotion was so thorough it was hard to see through sometimes. I knew that he loved me, deeply and completely. Knew that I was the first thing he thought about in the morning and the last at night, just before he fell asleep. Knew that he’d done nothing for five years except make me feel significant.
And Edward was right. I loved him, too.
“Do you want this from me?” He stretched an arm out toward Edward, still seated and watching us intently. My tongue turned to lead. Mouth coated in concrete and lungs filled full of gravel. I was supposed to say yes. Was supposed to nod my head or even jump right into his arms and make him take me the way I’d been dreaming of for years. I was supposed to want nothing more than this.
Why was I frozen?
Jasper sighed and stepped toward me. Fingers to my skin and I melted in a moment. The lone iceberg in the middle of a blissfully warm desert. Down to a pool of tepid water the instant he tugged me close, oddly peaceful and downright grateful that I didn’t have to be so cold anymore. I stared up at him, waiting for him to come down to my mouth like he always did, but he shook his head at me, holding me tightly up against him. He tilted his chin at me as he spoke, voice low and demanding, holding his breath.
“No. You kiss me.”
I was unpacking boxes when he appeared.
Looking flushed and breathless and anxious as a hunted rabbit.
“Are you ok?” I stood, dropping whatever I’d been holding back into the box at my knees. I’d spent most the day trying to sort through the last of our leftover boxes, the big empty house suddenly full of our belongings, reminding me that we really did live here now. I wasn’t used to such lavish surroundings and still felt a little out of sorts amid the granite and marble and polished glass.
“I have something to ask you.” Jasper gulped, fumbling in his pocket and emerging with something small fisted deep in his palm, dropping to his knee in front of me. He was biting his bottom lip, eyebrows crunched together, and my stomach rolled over with a thousand manic butterflies when he produced a ring.
“Will you marry me?” he asked, releasing his lip and pushing the ring onto my finger.
“Are you fucking joking?” I gasped. All those fluttery butterflies were threatening to bubble up my throat and I clamped a hand to my mouth, staring down at the ring he was slipping over my knuckle. It was delicate, small and pretty and perfect, and my eyes were watering so badly I had to blink constantly just to see it.
“I promise to love you,” Jasper whispered over my hand, holding me tight in both of his one he got the ring settled. “I promise to take care of you, protect you. I’ll do anything it takes to put that pretty smile on your face for good.”
“If this is about your job, I think we’ve got them convinced.” I stuttered, gripping his fingers in mine. Jasper finally looked up at me, big blue eyes and wild blonde hair and my heart clenched tightly in my chest.
“Maybe, but I can’t think of a better way to show you how much I adore you.”
“What happens if one of us meets someone? Someone special?” I asked, not wanting to spoil the moment but unable to ignore the nagging reality of the situation. It was the only part of the conversation neither one of us had broached and the one I was the most unsure about. I didn’t know how long I was going to be living this alternate life and certainly didn’t know what it meant for my real one.
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, I’d like to start paving a road with you. Say yes,” he asked, face pinched with want. “Please say yes.”
“Yes.” I gulped and he beamed at me, his particularly beautiful smile eating up most of his face. “Yes, of course.”
He stood, hugging me close. “Can I kiss you?”
“I think that’s what married couples do.” I choked back a manic-butterfly laugh, holding onto him in case I fainted from pure shock. He pulled his mouth to the side and shook his head at me wistfully.
“I’ll always ask.”
“Then yes, kiss me.”
It was the first of many and I came to understand that kisses from Jasper were a different breed altogether. His weren’t restricted in form or feel the way everyone else’s seemed so prone to, kisses that could be given their own names. His were all of it, all the time. Soft and sweet as a first kiss, excited and enflamed as one somewhere in the middle and there were even hints of aged, wizened love behind his teeth, as though he’d known you for a lifetime already.
The perfect trio, all in one.
I licked my lips and set them on his.
Jasper responded far more intently than I expected him to, exhaling roughly into me. Gripping me tight and pushing into my mouth with a tongue intent on tasting every square inch. His hands wormed through my hair, picking me nearly off my feet with an arm around my waist.
“Do you want this?” I asked, breathless, spinning, finding my misplaced taste for this man buried somewhere behind my current distractions. The faint hint of how long his particular drug had tormented me burst to life in my mouth and I wanted every bit of him more than I ever had before.
“I do,” he nodded, licking his lips with his eyes locked on my mouth and his own flushing at the edges. My head got knocked sideways all over again by a rushing wave of self-made déjà vu, something that felt like a memory but was probably just a dream I came up with. A vision I created suddenly springing across the line into reality, making everything go momentarily fish eyed. I shook my head, unable to understand how he’d changed his mind so drastically. So suddenly. Why?
“Because,” he whispered, “you’re fucking beautiful. And I’ve loved you for so long it nearly hurts.” Answering my question before I’d even asked it.
He set me back on my feet but my foot hurt, bad, the dull throbbing escalating to a sharp stab of heat. I dropped to my knees in front of him, partially to get the weight off of it and partially because I figured it was best to start somewhere he was familiar with. He watched me in silence as I pried open his pants and pulled everything to the floor, sort of grateful to see that he was already half hard. I hadn’t done this in so long that I basically mimicked what I’d watched Alice do to Edward last night. Pulled back my teeth and sunk over his dick, tonguing the underside. Jasper growled and put a hand to my head but didn’t pull me away like Edward had done to Alice, only urged me further until I felt him hit the back of my throat. I pulled back up with my hand wrapped around him and ran my tongue along the ridge around his head, soft skin against my mouth like the heavy velvet feeling of whiskey. Sucked hard on the end and felt all the skin along my back go up in heat. I pulled my mouth off Jasper, lips wet and numb, a fragile string of saliva strung delicately from my mouth to his dick. Edward’s feet were planted in the carpet on either side of my thighs, his calves brushing my arms. I glanced upward; the sloping line of Jasper’s abdomen, his chiseled arm and then his hand.
Gripping Edward’s jaw, their mouths locked.
Oh lord. Everything in me stopped. Blood, brain, heart. Standstill.
Jasper’s fingers flexed against my scalp and I watched Edward bite at his bottom lip, both of them moaning. I gripped Jasper tight in my hand, Edward’s own erection pressing against my neck through all of my hair and my head thrown back against his stomach, watching them kiss.
“Bella,” Edward panted, pulling his lips off Jasper and glancing down at me. Jasper was breathing just a hard, staring at Edward with his eyes glazed over and I blinked.
Oh yeah. I rubbed my fingers up and down Jasper’s dick, coating them in the moisture from my mouth and sunk back down over him again. It felt awkward, and hot, and Jasper thrust gently into my mouth, trembling as though he was holding back and digging his fingers into my hair. Sighing as I sucked up his shaft. Gasping as I edged my teeth around his head. Growling against Edward’s tongue as I tongued his slit.
“Not on her face,” Edward panted, gripping Jasper’s arm tightly and Jasper tugged himself free of my mouth. He wrapped his hand around his dick and groaned, rubbing his palm along all the moisture I’d left behind and Edward’s hand appeared in front of my face, reaching between Jasper’s legs to cup his balls. I squeezed Jasper’s thighs, watching them fumble the last few steps together from mere inches away. Jasper got there with a groan, low and guttural and still clutching my head in one hand, coating his stomach.
Edward hoisted me to my feet between them, holding me up against him as though he knew my foot wouldn’t do the work for me and snaking an arm across my chest, a palm to my pussy and his mouth to my neck. Jasper was breathing raggedly, dick gone partially limp against my thigh as he wiped himself down with his shirt and discarded it. I stared up at him, gripping Edward’s tattooed arm with both hands, his hips pressed against my backside, erection nestled between the cheeks of my ass as Jasper licked his lips and put both of his palms to my tits. My mouth gaped open when he pinched my nipples and Edward pushed two fingers between my folds, searching out the sticky arousal I was surprised wasn’t dripping down my leg.
Jasper stepped right up against me, capturing Edward’s wrist between our stomachs.
“Oh god,” I mumbled, holding onto Edward as tight as I could and letting my stumbling mouth occupy itself with Jasper’s, moaning into him when he bent to kiss me. He pulled at my nipples and squeezed my tits firmly while Edward continued sucking strongly on the back of my neck, peppering my hairline with nearly painful kisses, fingers pushing into me and his thumb on my clit.
“Let him see it. Come for him.” Edward’s lips brushed my ear as he whispered into my hair and I convulsed against him, already weakened from an endless number of days spent being thoroughly scorched and tossed off cliff faces. A week-long bender and I was a blundering drunkard, tottering off the edge of a towering curb. You’d think that all the practice, the stumbling falls and less than graceful swan dives would have taught me something. But I never learn a goddamn thing. I misjudged the depth every time and hit the bottom before I remembered to take a breath, suffocating on too much air and not enough of it either.
When I finally pried my eyes open, Jasper was licking his bottom lip, his hands now on my hips and his eyes studying my face as though he’d never seen me before.
“Jasper, care to return her favor?” Edward asked, voice seductively tempting, slipping his fingers from my pussy and holding his hand in front of my face. Jasper nodded without hesitation, chest heaving as he wrapped his mouth around Edward’s fingers, sucking off any evidence I’d left behind. He leaned in to kiss me again before he pulled away, snaking his tongue into my mouth with something that tasted like me before parting the curtains and flopping down onto the bed with a groan. Edward set his lips to the back of my neck. I was still coming down off my orgasm and still holding onto his arm for dear life. I was probably covered in a patterned fan of dual bruises all across my shoulders from those lip rings. He put his mouth to my ear again, voice soft enough to bely what he commanded.
“I want you to go sit on him. On his face.”
“What?” I stuttered, still shaking almost violently, not sure my legs would work anyway.
“You heard me.” He pulled his arm from my chest and lofted me into the air, depositing me on the bed. A swat to my ass had me moving up the mattress, Jasper reaching for me as I neared. He met me palm to palm, our fingers threaded, eyes locked as I moved to swing my leg over his shoulders. His skin had browned while we were here, hair lightened, but those eyes were just the same, frosted blue and impossibly deep. He writhed underneath me, rubbing his cheeks against my knees.
“Face me.” Edward spoke from the foot of the bed and I glanced over my shoulder at him. He twirled his finger in the air, indicating that he wanted me to spin, his other hand wrapped firmly around his dick. I licked my lips and tried to remember how to breathe as I did as I was told, Jasper bending his knees to help me steady myself. I rested my hands on his kneecaps, poised above him as he put both hands on my ass and dug his toes into the sheets.
“Tell him. Tell him what to do,” Edward instructed me, still rubbing.
“Start slow,” I practically whimpered, watching him fondle the swollen head and then slide clear down to that barbell, torturously slow with a near grimace on his face.
“Kiss her. Only what you can see,” Edward finished harshly.
Jasper’s grip on my thighs clenched and I felt his lips press against my pubic bone. Again, lower, a soft kiss over the top of my slit. Another and another and another, feather light kisses planted all over me and I dug my fingers into his knees, already starting to tremble. Edward rolled his tongue over his lip rings, pressing up against the inside like a secret message, watching my face intently.
“The very tip of your tongue, Jasper . . . taste her with it. Lick her,” he charged, swallowing roughly as my mouth dropped open, the barest hint of Jasper’s tongue dancing along my slit.
“Now spread her open.” Edward demanded and I felt Jasper’s fingers feather up my thighs, finally pulling me apart, his heavy exhale billowing across my skin.
“God, Bella,” Jasper sighed, the sound fading away and my eyes nearly watering as he pressed his tongue up against me. I dropped my chin to my chest, eyes locked on his cock, hard against his belly, darkened with what would appear to be arousal.
“Yeah,” Edward scoffed, nodding in agreement, pulling his hand roughly up his dick. “It’s pretty, isn’t it? I trust you know enough to find her clit. Suck on it.”
Jasper drug his mouth against me, lips circling every nerve ending that has ever existed, all of them tethered to the base of my spine, and pulled my clit into his mouth. I scrunched my eyes closed, unleashing my fingernails on the skin stretched thin across his kneecaps as my trembling got worse. Edward’s voice managed to get through the sound of my manic breathing.
“Yeah. Like that, only harder,” he nearly barked. “Dig your nose in there, she tastes so fucking good.”
Jasper moaned into me and did as he was told, wrapping his hands around my hips and sucking hard. I panted in response, blood boiling and brain on fire. Skin tingling under the watchful eyes of Edward. He licked his lips again, toying with the head of his dick as he watched nothing but my face. I planted my hands firmer and arched my back, pushing myself onto Jasper’s face with a moan, still staring all my wild hair trailing across his stomach. Whispering across his swollen dick.
“Harder,” Edward panted.
Jasper’s hand slapped my ass cheek hard enough to bruise. Biting into my skin with his palm and he groaned into me, clutching my hips tightly to his face.
“Ahhh!” I forced the air out of my chest as I clenched around his tongue, his nose pressed firmly against my ass and his stubble biting into my clit. Edward sheathed himself with a condom and crawled onto the bed, stopping between Jasper’s thighs and leaning over his hips.
He licked the inside of my lips, capturing every last exhale of my orgasm beneath his tongue.
“Up.” His fingers skittered down my entire front, from my chin to my pubic bone, digging into it gentle but insistent. I hoisted myself onto my knees, lifting off Jasper as Edward slunk his fingers through my folds, nearly cupping me with his whole hand. Jasper moaned and bit my thigh, obviously watching Edward tease and when he finally pulled away, his hand was nearly dripping.
“So wet, Bella.” He smiled wickedly and pulled me toward him, off Jasper and into his lap. He pressed my back up against his chest and I squirmed in his lap, wet skin meeting his erection. Jasper was panting, wiping his face with his hands and Edward was spreading my knees by pushing his own apart.
“You can have both of us, if you want,” he whispered, mouth to the back of my neck and a palm to my breast. “If you’re ready.”
Holy. Mother. Fuck. I nodded like a toddler who’d just been offered free reign in a candy store. Giddy and needy and a little terrified that I wouldn’t be able to control myself.
“Jasper, this beautiful woman is your wife.” Edward dipped his fingers into the creases of my thighs, inching his knees even wider and massaging me firmly. He sounded as though he was introducing us, his dick twitching against my ass. “I want you to fuck her. Properly.”
Jasper’s eyes met mine and he licked his lips again, fingering his dick and nodding almost as enthusiastically as I’d done a moment before.
Edward held a condom up in front of me. “Put it on him.”
I was trembling, still coming down off my high, but I managed to roll the condom on, Jasper groaning under my fingers. He really did have a beautiful dick, long and straight and the perfect. He sat up as I finished and pulled me into his lap, letting me sink slow and soft and patiently down onto him, savoring every moment of it and trying to burn it all into my memory.
“Jesus Christ,” he panted, clutching my ribs as our bones met. I could feel the quaking spasm that rolled across him, undulating like one of those monster waves way out in the middle of the ocean, sending my insides hurtling down the sheer-faced side of it. Jasper flopped back against the mattress, his hands pulling me along and I hovered over him, our faces hidden in a veil of my hair. He dug his fingers into my hips, pushing me to my knees and thrusting his hips off the bed once I gave him the room to move. “Shit,” he ground out, low and in the back of his throat, craning his neck to plant his lips to my collarbone, pulling out to press back in a little harder.
You could say that again.
I could feel Edward behind me, his thighs brushing the backs of my own and his mouth tracing my spine. A blistering kiss to every knob of my vertebra, soft and wet right that at the crack of my ass as his fingers slipped down over my cheeks, spreading me open. His breathing picked up as he watched Jasper push into me, the pads of his fingers tracing all around the sensitive skin that was stretched around Jasper, searching momentarily for my clit and then dragging a slick of moisture up over my ass before setting his mouth down around me. Tongue skirting just shy of intrusion. I sucked in a rushing gasp of air, blistering hot as though we were in the middle of an inferno, a stinging caustic mix that scorched my lungs.
Jasper pulled my ear into his mouth the same moment Edward pushed a finger into my ass, way too fast and not fast enough. Slippery and shell shocked and my knees trembled as he added another finger, Jasper still sinking himself slow and deep. It was all so overwhelming. Every one of the fragile seams holding me together was straining under the effort and I was certain I hadn’t used the right kind of thread when I did my repairs. That what I’d sewn myself up with wasn’t strong enough to stand the pressure and should have been wax-coated or strung through with steel.
The first thread started to fray the moment Edward deemed me ready.
“Motherfuck,” he murmured, pulling his fingers free and replacing them with his dick, the condom slick as he sunk himself slowly into me and jesus fucking god, I unravelled like a spool of thread tossed down a never-ending staircase. Tumbling head over feet, end over end, glimpses of sky and earth and then sky again in a dizzying plummet over the edge.
“Oh fuck. Edward, I - I can - feel you,” Jasper stuttered, thrusting into me as Edward pulled out and I knew exactly what he was talking about. The thin expanse of skin between them did basically nothing to separate and even I could practically feel them rubbing against one another. I moaned, dropping my chest to Jasper’s and breathing hard into his neck. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, holding me close as Edward pulled himself nearly free and timed his re-entry with Jasper’s.
Giving and taking in unison.
“God, yes. Just like that.” Edward growled into the air and I couldn’t do anything but compute the very basics. Two pairs of hands finger-tipping along my skin. The frantic rise and fall of Jasper’s chest beneath me and the steady urgent contact of Edward’s thighs against mine. Their timing thrown off so that one was pushing in while the other was pulling out and I couldn’t tell which.
The way my blood went thermonuclear and my bones turned to dust.
“Goddamnit, Bella,” Edward growled, going rigid and tense as his cock pulsed and he dug his fingers into Jasper’s freshly planted bruise on my ass cheek. He plowed into me twice more, hard and fast before pulling slowly away and tugging off the condom, muttering under his breath about a lack of self control and dropping to his hands behind me. Jasper captured my mouth with his, growling into me as he ground himself as hard against me as he could, Edward’s stubbled chin to his balls, mouth set strong around my ass. Metal and flesh and I collapsed on top of Jasper, my legs finally giving way as they pulled another orgasm from me.
My parachute barely had time to open before I hit the ground.
I stood on the tarmac the next morning, watching our luggage being loaded into the plane, blown over with my last indulgence of that delicious, wicked lavender off the water. Esme and Carlisle arrived, Esme trotting over to stand beside me and looping an arm through mine.
“I’m so glad we’re flying together. Carlisle has a tendency to snore through most of the flight unless someone keeps him occupied. We’ll just let Jasper and Emmett do that.”
“Where is Alice?” I asked, unwilling to even mention Edward’s name for fear my voice gave me away. Jasper had carried me back to our villa last night, a last fleeting kiss from Edward before sleep overcame me and I was so anxious and so nervous to see him.
“They left this morning. Their connecting flight leaves New York in the morning so they had to get an early start.”
“New York?” I spluttered.
“They’re flying back to Africa. Didn’t they tell you?”
They did not.